Complicated

Here is Tuesdays offering to the word gods…. I am doing something different this year. I am still working with prompts … and word limits.  Like yesterday the piece is flash fiction (500 word count) same sentence… different genre.  I was going for general humor. I also want the reader to decide what happens next.  I hope you get a laugh out of it.  I laughed while writing it.


“It’s really not that complicated. You take it into the bathroom, pee on the stick, and wait five minutes. Two lines your preggers, one line your safe.”

“I know that. I’m not stupid. But what do the directions say about a horseshoe?” Lana masticating her bottom lip.

“A horseshoe? What are you expecting a unicorn?… Noooo, wait a centaur. That would be so cool.” Amaya said picking up the paper, she poured it out of the box to read.

Lana looked sick, “don’t joke.”

“Really,” Amaya said wrinkling her nose in disgust. “I thought you were a little more discerning than that.”

Lana’s tone became defiant as she put her hands on her hips and glared at her best friend sitting on the bed. “What are you talking about? You know I am still a virgin.”

Amaya scratched her head and looked between the brunette and the paper. “Then why on god’s green earth, are you are you taking a pregnancy test?”

“I don’t know.” Lana whined. “That fortune teller everybody keeps raving about, well Daniella talked me into going with her to see the Great Madam. She told me I was carrying a child.

“Dude, you have to have sex to get pregnant. You’re a virgin so either she’s wrong or… hello Mary.”

“Amaya! That’s blasphemy,” Lana chastised but couldn’t quite keep the smile off her face.  She looked down at the used pregnancy test in her hand and the strange icon in the window.

“Well then calm down.”

“Okay. Wait… do me a favor. You take the other one. If the horseshoe comes up again, we’ll know the test is bad,” Lana pleaded.

Chuckling as her best friend touched both palms together praying and contorted her face into a pitiful version of a puppy dog’s sad eyes Amaya relented. “Okay, okay. What do I have to do?”

“It’s really not …”

“That complicated” both girls finished together.  Lana was giggling as Amaya took the unused pregnancy test into the bathroom.

Five minutes later Amaya came out of the bathroom frowning. “Don’t worry about being pregnant, the test is broken.”

“Why are you pregnant too?”

“No, silly rabbit.” Amaya drooled. “But instead of lines I have what looks like a four-leaf clover.”

Now Lana frowned and asked, “A four leaf clover? Does that mean you’re having a leprechaun?”

This had to be some sort of a joke. If the box hadn’t been unsealed, she would bet the world on the tests being tampered with. “Where did you get these, a box of Lucky Charms?”

“No. Walgreens,” Lana defended.

“You don’t think your stupid little brother could have anything to do with this do you?”

“No, he’s too busy playing with his invisible friend the genie. At dinner, he told mom he had two wishes left. But you know Jacob and his imaginary friends. At ten you’d think he would grow out of pretend.”

The girls looked at each other in horror and said in unison. “You don’t believe….Jacob!”

Let me know what you think.

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